With Summer 2017 fast approaching there are many things I look forward to like fun accessories, backyard BBQs, strolls through the rose garden (like the one pictured:)) and all the babies in the cutest little swimsuits I've ever seen! I swear, every year the baby suits get more and more adorable and lately my husband and I are deep in baby fever. This will definitely be the most personal blog I've written thus far and has me feeling a little vulnerable as I have yet to share personal feelings to the open public especially about something so personal. But here goes nothing..
We have been trying to have a baby since our wedding, which next Thursday makes it 9 months since we got married, and I know it takes a while but I never realized how nerve wracking, mentally and emotionally exhausting it can be. I've read multiple different blogs about women spilling their feelings and insights on their road to conception, but I am telling you, every day I feel like I'm living the "holy cow, what you read and hear about life lessons is so true" as well as realizing my parents were pretty much right about everything. I've had two different times where I thought "this is it, this has to be because I've never felt like this before" but low and behold, the tests are negative. I know you can't always believe what you read because let me tell you, I spend hours researching different symptoms online, BIG MISTAKE PEOPLE!
I've learned that consulting your friends or family who have gone through childbirth are a much more reliable source than consulting Google Chrome because you will find that there are at least 8 different articles on the exact same topic all saying different things. How confusing!! I think I'll just stick with the referral method from now on. I have been taking prenatals as I've been told it is smart to help prepare your body if you're trying to conceive, but if anyone has any advice out there I would love to hear what helped you through the process when you were trying! I do have a doctor's appointment coming up just for a checkup so I think I'll be able to find out more then. Life right now is a little crazy with a high baby fever, looking for a house to buy, and beginning this blogging journey, let's just say I spend a lot of time crying and a lot of time praying. My husband has been an amazing support and even though he can be more anxious than me, when I'm in a downward spiral he snaps into protective action. He is my God sent blessing. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely not perfect people, but he knows to yin when I yang, and flip when I flop if you know what I mean.
I feel very lucky because I also have the greatest girlfriends I confide in who help and support me through this process and most who, luckily for me, have had babies already as well as one is an amazing nurse! I try not to let it consume my thoughts but I want to make sure I'm doing everything right and to the best of my abilities to produce a healthy baby. It's scary. Scary to think about an actual human will be growing inside me, and reading about what the body goes through during pregnancy. Sometimes I look down at my body (which is in no way "runway" shape or close to it) and I think "how is this going to work?!?!"
My ankles are going to get how big? Am I going to be able to stand up straight when I'm in my third trimester?? Will I fit into anything??? OMG my nipples are going to do WHAT???? DOES. NOT. COMPUTE..
My mind goes a million miles a minute if I let it when I think about what the body endures, but I have seen my besties, those fertility goddess friends of mine who have the most beautiful babies ever, go through it and I'm like, "Okay, you can totally do this." I can always calm down by reminding myself that God has a plan for me and my husband and our baby. If and when we are blessed with one I know it was meant to be. He has a plan and I have faith in Him. I also realize that it's stressful and seems like a big deal because I'm focused on it. I've taken my focus off of my usually hobbies of crafting and DIY and turned it towards baby making madness which has increased the stress of it all. I'm making myself get back to normalcy which means going to the studio to work on projects more often, exercising regularly, and getting together with friends more frequently.
Thinking about having a baby really can consume your entire life so I've had to steer my thoughts back towards what I love. As the saying goes "things often happen when you least expect them," so I think I'll try that now. I know our "trying" has just begun, but when I tell you all I have baby fever, that mixed with a shopping problem is a hard thing to try and avoid. I swear I think if Morgan sees one more baby outfit come in the mail he may leave me... hehee. No, really though it's just the waiting and not knowing of it all that is killer, but like I said I'm going to leave it all to God and I know it will all work out as planned. Ok, RANT OVER!
Quick note about the outfit, I've linked the dress below, unfortunately this color is gone but the red and black could be perfect for this holiday weekend or 4th of July! I've added accessories I think would go great with it as well as some fun stuff to get ready for Memorial day activities! And some are 50% off right now! :)
I definitely appreciate you guys sticking around and reading my rant. If anyone out there has any advice, words of wisdom, encouragement I would love it! Anyone got the title yet? :) Just feeling a little emotional today is all. Thanks for reading! Happy Friday everyone!